Mikachu for CHU~

하루가 지나도 난 너를 못 잊어 한달이 지나도 난 너를 못 놔줘 아직도 널 원한 내 맘을 아니 oh no

玫瑰 or 권장미?

그를 잊지 못해서 아파하나요 그대가 있을 자리가 여긴 아닌가요 나를 위한 거라면 참을 필욘 없죠 언젠간 끝나버릴 테니

내 사랑이 제자리로 오지 못하고 흘린 눈물만큼 멀리 가네요 나는 잊어야 하죠 그대 너무 그리워 나를 아프게 할지는 몰라도 잊어요

바보 같은 나란 걸 그댄 아나요 가슴이 찢어지는데 웃음만 나오죠 언제까지라도 난 기다려 내 눈물 감추며 내게 돌아오긴 하는 건가요

내 사랑이 제자리로 오지 못하고 흘린 눈물만큼 멀리 가네요 나는 잊어야 하죠 그대 너무 그리워 나를 아프게 할지는 몰라도 잊어요

(잊어요) 잊어야 하는 건 지워야 하는 건 내겐 너무나 어려운 일이죠

내 사랑이 제자리로 오지 못하고 흘린 눈물만큼 멀리 가네요 나는 잊어야 하죠 그대 너무 그리워 나를 아프게 할지는 몰라도 잊어요

내 마음이 제자리로 오질 않아요 미친 듯이 계속 눈물만 나죠 나는 안되나 봐요 그댈 잊는다는 건 그냥 죽고 싶어도 그대의 사랑 놓을 수 없어 나 살고 있죠

You’re like Oxygen, when I drink you in I can’t breathe you out, inside this intense agony Can’t you see I’m dying away like this? Cold, to the point of freezing, you’re transparent Though inhale, and keep breathing you in Until I’ve turned white from the shock, as if I’d ran, I’m dry of thirst for your love

너무나 오랫동안
지켜봤어 말없이 서서
안타까운 가슴을 숨기며
친구로 친구로 지내야 한단 이유로
목까지 차올랐던
그 고백을 참아야 했어
하지만 이제는 고백할께
너를 사랑해

늦게 다니지 좀 마 술은 멀리 좀 해봐 열 살짜리 애처럼 말을 안 듣니 정말 웃음만 나와 누가 누굴 보고 아이라 하는지 정말 웃음만 나와 싫은 얘기 하게 되는 내 맘을 몰라 좋은 얘기만 나누고 싶은 내 맘을 몰라 그만할까? 그만하자 하나부터 열까지 다 널 위한 소리 내 말 듣지 않는 너에게는 뻔한 잔소리 그 만하자 그만 하자 사랑하기만 해도 시간 없는데 머리 아닌 가슴으로 하는 이야기 니가 싫다 해도 안 할 수가 없는 이야기 그만하자 그만하자 너의 잔소리만 들려 밥은 제 때 먹는지 여잔 멀리 하는지 온 종일을 네 옆에 있고 싶은데 내가 그 맘인거야 주머니 속에 널 넣고 다니면 정말 행복할 텐데 둘이 아니면 안되는 우리 이야기 누가 듣는다면 놀려대고 웃을 이야기 그만할까? 그만하자 하나부터 열까지 다 널 위한 소리 내 말 듣지 않는 너에게는 뻔한 잔소리 그만하자 그만하자 사랑하기만 해도 시간 없는데 머 리 아닌 가슴으로 하는 이야기 니가 싫다 해도 안 할 수가 없는 이야기 그만하자 그만하자 나의 잔소리가 들려? 눈 에 힘을 주고 겁을 줘봐도 내겐 그저 귀여운 얼굴 이럴래 자꾸(자꾸 너) 더는 못 참고(참고 나) 정말 화낼지 몰라 사랑하다 말거라면 안 할 이야기

“Humans are cowards in the face of happiness. It takes courage to hold on to happiness.” 

- Shimotsuma Monogatari

What do female gangs, ruffle dresses, motorbikes, and 13th century French philosophy all have in common?  They are all memorable and essential images from Tetsuya Nakashima’s Shimotsuma Monogatari (also known as “Kamikaze Girls”).

In the little country town of Shimotsuma, dubbed “Jersey Heaven” for the tracksuits the majority of residents wear, there is one girl who lives in a world all her own.  Momoko Ryugasaki (Kyoko Fukada), age 17, is obsessed with 18th-Century French Rococo culture; she believes that life is to be lived for selfish pleasures, and does not associate with anyone her own age.  Although she has no friends, Momoko only needs her Lolita dresses to make her happy.  Her not-so-business-savvy father, Dame Oyaji (Hiroyuki Miyasako), flees with his daughter to Shimotsuma after facing legal action against the counterfeit Versace merchandise he sold in Momoko’s birth town of Ibaraki.  Wanting some extra money to buy her favorite expensive Lolita-style dresses, Momoko and her one-eyed grandmother (Kirin Kiki) put up ads to sell off the counterfeit items.  When a response to the ad comes in the form of a sloppy, misspelled note covered in strawberry jam, Momoko assumes that her customer is an elementary school student.  What she doesn’t expect is Ichigo “Ichiko” Shirayuki (Anna Tsuchiya), a rough-mannered, rude, loud-mouthed female Yankii motorbike gangster.  Despite the two girls’ clashing personalities and Momoko’s insistence on not wanting friends, Ichiko and Momoko form an unlikely bond.  The plot centers on Momoko and Ichiko’s developing friendship as they overcome first love, family troubles, and issues of trust in oneself and others.  This coming-of-age story is sprinkled with humor and affection from the colorful cast of characters: “Unicorn” Ryuji (Sadado Abe) who saves the girls from a sticky situation in the pachinko parlor while swishing his ostentatious six foot-long Mohawk, beautiful Akimi (Eiko Koike), who takes Ichiko under her wing and shows her the true meaning of strength, and Momoko’s mother, Midori Saiyonji (Ryoko Shinohara), with her outrageous outbursts of emotion and impulsive nature.

The characters of Ichiko and Momoko are beautifully portrayed by their respective actresses.  Fukada’s expressive eyes and delivery of her lines truly convey Momoko’s selfish, princess-like personality; every squeal and groan that Fukada gives while playing Momoko feel genuine.  The fiercely beautiful Tsuchiya walks with the swagger and confidence that Ichiko’s character demands.  Everything in Tsuchiya’s acting screams “Yankii” right down to chewing and smacking her gum in an intimidating fashion and spitting on the ground with a smirk.  The supporting cast also adds depth and warmth to the story, with humorous chiming in from characters who have nothing to do with the story itself. 

This film succeeds in reaching the audience in an abstract manner with methods unconventional to common American films.  Nakashima grabs viewers using animated sequences, vivid, lifelike daydreams of characters, interactive flashbacks, breaking the fourth wall, and utilizing inner dialogue.  The plot asks: what truly makes one happy?  How can one pursue happiness?  Viewers will find themselves examining their own lives as they relate to the struggles and triumphs of two unlikely friends.

The film’s score reflects the joining of two very different worlds.  The music throughout the film ranges from Johan Strauss’ symphonies on Momoko’s Walkman to Osakan pop blaring from Ichiko’s motorbike radio.  Much of the film utilizes different genres and styles of music to represent various characters, events, and emotions throughout the story: smooth guitar solos for Ryuji, sad British soul music as Ichiko cries in the meadow, modern French pop playing in the “BABY THE STARS SHINE BRIGHT” clothing store, loud punk tunes when the Ponytail Bikers conduct their meeting, and sweet classical compositions whenever Momoko is narrating.  The eclectic combination of songs adds to the contrasting compliments seen throughout the movie.

Nakashima explores the themes of self doubt, trust, and happiness throughout the film.  From the beginning of the film, Momoko directly questions the audience about the value of happiness and what one will do in pursuit of happiness.  Throughout the movie, viewers are forced to observe actions of various characters and ask “will doing this make that character truly happy in the end?”  Another idea stressed throughout the film is the idea that people will always change.  Momoko starts out as a self-centered egotistical girl who rejects any attempt to connect with other people.  Ichiko, on the other hand, pushes friendship upon Momoko, even at times physically forcing to go along with her Yankii schemes.  Momoko’s struggle to rely on others is apparent throughout the story, as she slowly learns to accept not only accept help from Ichiko but to reach out and give herself freely to her new friend.  A major theme of the film is not to judge based on appearances, as both Ichiko and Momoko are far more complex characters than their mere physical appearances express.  Momoko is not a sweet, carefree girl as one would assume from a Rococo fanatic, but rather she is a bitter and self-isolating individual who sees other people as despicable beings.  Ichiko also struggles with belief in herself, which one would not assume after seeing her “tough girl” confidence she shows most characters.   Coming from a childhood full of bullying and torment has shattered Ichiko’s sense of self-pride; as she and Momoko grow closer, she reveals her vulnerability.  These themes of self doubt, trust, and happiness are topics that all audiences can relate to and learn from.

 The audience of Shimotsuma Monogatari is drawn into the journey of two very different girls and their pursuit of true happiness.  The script is clever, the cast truly portray their characters with genuine emotion, and the themes relate to any viewer.  After watching, one must ask, do I have the courage I need hold onto happiness?

At the sight of the coldly turned back , it feels like time has stopped for a moment
In my blank mind, I have to hold onto you , no I have to let you go
Oh, I cried because I couldn’t forget you, who forgot herself
Whatever will happen , let it happen. Even I’m not too sure

I’ll try to forget you when you turn around
I won’t hold onto you again
At your words saying just once more , just once more think of me again
I won’t hesitate anymore . Now I’ll throw you away.

Dear internetz,

stop distracting me with things that are way more fun than editing my essay for skrivning klasse.  I kind of want to pass this class so I don’t have to listen to the professor talk about dead things and her homeschooling techniques again.

KTHNXBAI. <3

Madeleine

They said women would never vote.
They said the titanic would never sink.
They said man would never fly.
We sometimes trust the wisdom of unwise people.
Cancer can’t be cured today, but tomorrow marks a new beginning.
Dare to hope, and to believe